Two hundred ninety four

I can't remember the last time I was awake at 6am. As I drive home from a night on call I'm watching the sky get lighter (opposed to darker for once), and find myself feeling overwhelmingly grateful. Grateful for an ever supportive family. Grateful to have such incredible friends. Grateful to work with people who have become friends instead of simply being coworkers. Grateful for the opportunity I've been given to get an education, to find a passion, and to be able to pursue it as a career. I'm indescribably grateful for N. I'm grateful for such an outstandingly superb little dog. I'm grateful to know that I'll take a nap for a few hours and then have yet another day with which to marvel at all of the wonders I've been blessed with in my life.
Xoxo, A.

Two hundred ninety three

In honor of the official start of spring, I am sipping an iced latte, driving with my sun roof open, and rocking the perfect pair of nude patent leather peep toes.

Are your toes primed for a season of peeping?!

two hundred ninety two

back to the blog-o-sphere.
i love the anonymity of twitter.
i like the ease of status updates on fb.
but I'm not a fan of the amount of oversharing i'm prone to on those social media sites.
I've always liked blogging.
not just big posts, but little ones too.
tidbits of thought.
today's?

something that bugs:
a nail polish chip half way through a twelve hour shift.

also,
i don't know why, but i'm feeling surprisingly optimistic about this spring.
and i'm not going to question it,
i'm simply going to enjoy it.

two hundred ninety one

spring semester has finally come to a close and i couldn't be happier to spend my summer doing all of the things i have forgotten to have loved. i'm thrilled to spend my days at the pool side whilst reading classic novels and trashy gossip mags alike. i'm delighted at the prospect of hiking on a whim with my little rockstar by my side. i'm exhilarated to plan my days off by not having plans at all. i want to finish my recovery quilt. i want to build a glass bubble chandelier. i want to do more with my visual journal. the only hinderance to these blissful activities is the monumental pull of staying snuggled in my covers. i could never cheat on my bed, i just love it too much! in order to be happy i need to actually do the things that make me happy. that is what my summer goal is, to spend every bit of my time doing something that makes me happy! today's happiness included deep cleaning my house, repainting a set of bathroom shelves to be a happy summer yellow color, planting tomato seeds, planting asters, painting my nails, snuggling with rox, and hanging out with my family. it has been productive but simple. it's the simplicity that brings me happiness. let's do more of the things that make us happy. what a spectacular concept! happy mother's day!

two hundred ninety

hello all,

i need to get better at blogging, even if just for my piece of mind.

today's topic? creating your life.

so many of my friends are getting married, beginning a new life together, and have spent years dreaming of what said life would contain. it makes me wonder what my life will hold. even more so, it makes me wonder what i WANT my life to hold. i'm not dreaming of buying a fixer-upper with my husband and getting into paint fights as we slowly create the environment in which we build our memories of a home. i'm not interested in cooking soggy yet burnt casserole concoctions of whatever is left in the pantry and watching devotion manifested through attempts to hide a cringe with every bite. i want to build my surrounding structure without waiting for someone to fall into my life and fix it for me. i want to harness the ability to secure something substantial and free standing without depending on someone else. i want to discover these things for myself so that when this magic man happens to cross paths with mine we can accent our lives together with 1000 thread count bed sheets and perfectly paired turkish cotton towels. to enjoy the splendor of nuance that comes with knowing that i'll never settle.

too often i find myself sitting around waiting for the time for my life to happen- for the pieces to just "fall into place"- but then i realize that i'm in the middle of that time and that the pieces won't find a place until i make them a place. and i'm going to do just that.

happy wednesday.

two hundred eighty nine

At times I get caught up in existential anxiety and forget who I am. Sometimes it's just for a minute, but that minute is scary. And I need to remind myself that I know exactly who I am.

My name is Alana. I am 23. I have a good heart. I have hope for true change in the world. I have an obsession with dark wash denim. Sunshine on my skin is rejuvenating to my soul. Snugging is my all time favorite past time. I sleep on a thousand pillows and feel safe when I'm haphazardly buried between them. I know my family will love me no matter what. I know I am a daughter of God. I adore dressing according to the season (and accessorizing too). Watching torrential thunderstorms makes me feel calm inside. If I could do one thing for the rest of my life it would be wakeboarding. I try to do one scary thing every single day. I'm an adrenaline junkie with crippling anxiety. I'm learning to accept my limits one day at a time. I am grateful to have discovered that every day is a fresh start into the unknown and that its entirely up to me to decide what I'll do with that precious time.

At times this may be all I know. But in those moments I can also know that this is enough...

two hundred eighty eight

Love is louder than hate.
Love is louder than pain.
Love is louder than fear.

I love to love the things love is capable of doing.